Where the dangers presented by those with a little learning are allayed        

Proven Scientific Stuff Number 1: Your Health

This first item might not save the world directly, but it might help extend your life enough that you'll have time to fix all the world's problems (which I'm sure you intend to make a start on right after you've finished reading this).

Let's Start with Smoking

The independent organisation in the UK that deals with the effects of smoking is ASH (Action on Smoking and Health.  Cute, huh?)

Their "fact" sheets (http://ash.org.uk/information/facts-and-stats/fact-sheets) are a joy to read, if you're a bullfact spotter.

BULLFACT ALERT!
Did you know, for example, that smoking causes mental illness!!!

They "prove" this by saying that a high percentage of people with psychological or stress-related problems smoke a lot.

Well, F&ˆ%$£* DUH!

Fine.  So, having perused their material, it's clear that we can't trust a single word these "independent experts" say, so let's go to an official government report, instead: http://www.hscic.gov.uk/catalogue/PUB07019

Quote:

In England in 2010, 20 per cent of adults reported smoking, which is similar to 2009 where 21 per cent of adults reported smoking but much lower than the 39 per cent in 1980.

OK, so the number of people smoking is still on a steady decline, as it has been for years Hell, that ain't news (except, I suppose, when it is actually reported as news).  It's just over half of what it was in 1980.

BULLFACT ALERT!
The figures show that the number dropped by a whole percentage point in one year, but only by 18% in the preceding 30 years!  It was the Best Year Ever, but they belittled it with deceptive wording that makes worse figures feel better than the Best Figures Ever!

E.g. 20 is "less than", not "similar to", 21.

The difference between 20% and 21% is SEVEN-HUNDRED-THOUSAND PEOPLE!

If you want to dismiss that number of people, dismiss them one at a time that'll keep you too busy to bullshit us for a while.

Another quote (from literally a few lines further down the page):

In 2010/11 among adults aged 35 and over, there were approximately 1.5 million hospital admissions with a primary diagnosis of a disease that can be caused by smoking.  The annual number of admissions has been rising steadily since 1996/97, when the number of such admissions was 1.1 million.

BULLFACT ALERT!
Wait, wait, wait... Have we read that right?  The number of people smoking has dropped by about two fifths since 1980 (the population has increased by about 8 or 9 per cent), but the number of illnesses caused by smoking has gone up by at least half (much more than half, if you extrapolate the figures back to 1980)?

Have cigarettes somehow become twice as dangerous, in the last 30 years?  Are they stronger, now?  More tar?  More nicotine?

They're bullshitting us.  Do we like people bullshitting us?  No, we don't like people bullshitting us!

Here is one thing that I personally can attest, regarding smoking and illness:

One of the buildings I've worked in had what is known as "sick-building syndrome", in that everyone in the building was constantly feeling under the weather, catching colds and every other disease that passed through the neighbourhood...

... Except the smokers!

The people who disappeared off to the (incredibly smokey and disgusting) smoke rooms for smoke breaks always seemed healthier and more energetic than everyone else!

But think about it, for a moment: Nicotine is a poison, remember; toxic to just about everything.

The amount you take in whilst smoking certainly won't be anywhere near enough to kill a human being, but it'll as sure as taxes kill a bunch of the microganisms that find their way into your mouth, throat, and lungs and maybe even your gut and bloodstream.

So, far from being the cause af all physical and mental illnesses, and killing three times as many people as actually die, smoking can prevent minor illnesses!

Not only that, but smoking really can help reduce stress, which can be a major contributing factor to just about any illness.

It could always do these things, which was why it used to be advertised for doing so, before world-saviour-bullfacters decided that they had the right to lie to us.

When I myself quit smoking, I considered only the facts, and decided that the risks outweighed any benefits, for me.

The only contribution that the lies and bullfacts made to the should-I-quit-smoking decision-making process was that they made me:

  • Doubt every word I read about smoking being bad.

  • Spend an inordinate amount of time looking for hidden truths about the beneficial effects of smoking.

See the great results that bullshitting people gets?

How about Injuries at Work?

How many people suffer injuries each year whist struggling to bring home the bacon to feed their families, pay the mortgage, etc?  Well, quite a few, actually; thousands, even.

Here's a little pyramid that shows workplace-related injuries per annum in the UK:

Source: http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/

That's really terrible, when you think of it.  You have to work, to provide for your loved ones and yourself, and it's really awful that so many jobs carry risks to your health and wellbeing.  We just want to do our work and take home our pay; we don't want to be part of the 148.

Oh, but bear in mind that:

  • About 20% of the work-related injuries are classified as "stress", so taking the day off to choose a gun to shoot your bastard of a boss with is classed as a day lost to injury.
  • "Driving to work" is included under the "work-related" heading, and guess when most road accidents happen (clue: when are most cars on the road?)
  • The number of injuries that are caused by working when not feeling well are not counted (it would probably be quite tricky to do so).

... And I Guess that we can Suppose that Maybe one or two People Might get a Little Hurt while Playing Sport

Unfortunately, I can't find a pyramid (like the one above) for sports injuries in the UK, but I did find one for the EU, so multiply the numbers in the UK pyramid by about a dozen, and it should be more or less equivalent, no?

Here's the EU sports-injury pyramid:

Source: http://www.eurosafe.eu.com/csi/eurosafe2006.nsf/wwwVwContent/l3reports-88.htm

W! T! F!?

That's almost four times as many deaths as work-related ones!

These aren't deaths that happened while driving trucks for too many hours a day, nor while demolishing buildings, nor while operating dangerous machinery, nor chasing bank robbers, nor defusing bombs!

These deaths came about while the victims were playing with F&ˆ%$£* balls!

And look at the second row of each pyramid:

21,000 "minor injuries reported by employers" v 30,000 Disabilities!

That's like "John slipped and stuck a thumbtack in his finger" v "Sally will spend the rest of her life in a F&ˆ%$£* wheelchair!"

So here they're using the other side of the bullshit coin pretending all the time that doing sport is fantastic for you, and ignoring/hiding the fact that it is pretty damned likely to either kill you or maim you for life!

Here's a little experiment you can try: See how many people you can ask before one of them admits to having a permanent scar or "twinge" caused by sports.  I shall be quite surprised if you make it as far as five.

The Conclusion is Clear

To save your health:
Give up sports, and take up smoking to kill germs and relieve stress!


 



Go back to the Save the World! index page

Go back to the Grumpy Old Scribe index page

Go back to the main site


This page is copyright © 2015 by Mark Wallace.  All Rights Reserved.