| A report on strange activities in the British Isles.
Compiled by Agent Foxy Muldoon, FBI Annotated by Mark Wallace |
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At first glance, the small town of Hayrolling is a typical English country town. A sleepy little hollow which boasts bowling matches on village greens, and weekly games of cricket; which is like baseball, but with all the players asleep. For those watching, a Sunday match seems to last at least eight days.
As has so often turned out to be the case, however, this peaceful appearance was no more than a deceptive façade. 
My investigation began after I was made aware of the existence of a ghost named Flossie, who haunts the Blue Ferret pub in Hayrolling1, but this revealed itself to be only a symptom of something far more sinister and profound. When Flossie was alive, she had been married to a soldier in the British infantry. Obviously, back then there were a lot of wars to keep soldiers away from home; and during one of her husband's campaigns she met and fell in love with another man. That would have been all very well, but her husband returned unexpectedly, to find her in flagrante in her lover's arms. According to the story, he chased the other man away, brutally murdered Flossie, then threw her body down a well. Her ghost has remained in the area for hundreds of years; and after a pub was built on the location of the well, she took up residence there. What originally interested me about this particular haunting was that Flossie takes offence whenever bearded men enter the pub, and swings chandeliers or tosses glasses around. That perked my ears up, and I decided to look a little more deeply, on the chance that I could get British Intelligence Agent Wallace involved. Seeing him get his bearded ass kicked by Flossie would be a memory to cherish2.
Many people dispute the existence of ghosts, but the evidence in this case was compelling. Admittedly, there was no solid proof that a woman named Flossie had ever been murdered by her husband in the village, nor indeed that anyone by that name had ever lived there, and no human remains were ever found down the well. But trivial details like that were overwhelmed by the eye-witness accounts of people from the village, who, after a night of drinking in the pub, saw things moving on the shelves, or noticed the chandeliers swaying for no good reason. It was obviously a genuine haunting.
The first thing I looked into was whether the Blue Ferret in Hayrolling was on any of the ley lines that network England. My initial attempt at checking out ley lines was something of an eye-opener, as it turned out that, no matter what compass-bearing I drew a line at, any line drawn through the Blue Ferret on the map of Britain also passed through at least a dozen other 'energy spots', like churches, mounds, and burial places. Unfortunately, because of the similarity of place names in rural England, I had been working from the wrong point on the map, and the place I had tested was forty miles from the Blue Ferret, so I had to start over. It actually took me six attempts to pin-point the Blue Ferret on the map, but when I did the results were the same. Dozens of ley lines seemed to converge on the location of the Blue Ferret. Dozens of ley lines converged on all the other five pin-points I had tested, also, so I made a note of them for future investigation as they were obviously the foci of occult power, too3.
More prominent in the occult value of the area is the vicinity of two stone circles. One of these is Stonehenge itself, which is well known to be a focus for immense power. Looking at a large-scale map of the area, it suddenly struck me that putting in lines to these two stone circles from the Blue Ferret made it look like a clock face. The time it showed was ten to two. Ten to two in the morning is very close to one of the eleven times of day that Jesus is believed to have been born. Was it possible that the actual time of his birth was ten to two, and that these mystical foci were displaying that time? Obviously, that had to be the case. It was yet more indisputable evidence of the power in the area4. Granted, ten to two in England was not ten to two in Bethlehem, but that is only a minor discrepancy. It was suggested that, because the left hand line was shorter than the right, the time actually shown was ten past ten; but even that would be evidence of great occult power. Why, for instance, do all watches in shop windows mysteriously stop at that exact time? Was their stoppage somehow affected, all over the world, by the power of the Blue Ferret and the stone circles?5 I preferred the explanation to do with the birth of Christ, however, so that was obviously the true one.
Another thing that could not be ignored is that the Blue Ferret is less than a thousand miles from Loch Ness. Not only that, but the difference in the distances from the Blue Ferret to the Tibetan Yeti and from the Blue Ferret to the Canadian Bigfoot are also less than a thousand miles!6 Evidence like that is beyond contention!
Having positively established that the area is one of great energy, I took the next natural step, and started looking for signs of alien activity. It's obvious that aliens would concentrate their attention on areas of occult power, so I expected not to have to look too hard. A number of crop circles had been made by aliens in the area. A group of local residents had recently claimed to have made the circles themselves, and had even made a film, showing how they had gone about producing them, but if that was true, then they had obviously been under the influence of aliens when they had done it. Many people are abducted by aliens and made to do things without knowing why; so the men had either been made to believe that they had made the circles when they had not, or the designs had been planted in their minds by the telepathic aliens – so the circles were solid evidence of an alien presence in the area.7
A look at local newspaper records showed that a large number of UFO sightings had been made by locals. I was getting closer and closer to the truth. Further investigation, by contacting local enforcement agencies, revealed that the sightings had all taken place over a short period of time, and had petered out shortly after the newspapers lost interest. Why had the newspapers lost interest? Obviously, because they had been 'got at', either by government agencies, who paranoically cover such things up, or by the aliens themselves. The only other possible reason for the halt in the sightings was that the aliens' stealth technology had been improved, to prevent people from seeing them while they got up to whatever their sinister business was.8
I had seen enough. People were being abducted, and having their minds and memories adjusted by aliens. Who knows what aims they were working toward? I contacted British Military Intelligence, and requested that all the evidence be passed on to Agent Wallace, for further investigation.9
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