vs.   Dracula
++++++++++++++++++++

 
A lot of people have complained that my SGDVD stories do not conform to the standard format, which was instituted by Cloud.
If you are one of these people, then
Turn Back Now!
Because this story is not for you!
 
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
 
This tale is even less like standard SGDVD than any I have written previously.
I say this neither proudly, nor as an apology.
 
There are always good reasons behind everything I do; and, just this once, I shall explain them to you.
 
The character of Dracula; loosely based by Bram Stoker on Vlad the Impaler; is one of the greatest creations of recent literature.
It is at once terrifying, and alluring.
The vampire concept of eternal youth and beauty, encapsulated in the horror of constant bloodshed and gory violence, has become the architype and the basis for almost all of the most unforgettable tales of terror that have come since Dracula's conception.
 
I am merely a slave to such greatness.
I would feel more cheapened by satirising Dracula than I would by accepting a blow-job from Katie.
 
The character, therefore, will remain virtually pure; with only a few of the most recognised alterations from Stoker's original, and of course written in my own, somewhat perverse, hand.
 
This sanctity of characterisation does not, of course, apply to any other poor, helpless fools who appear in the story.
 
ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO CONTINUE?
 
YES!       No!

Running With Sticks 1999