Quickies II!
The dipsticks strike back!

(...but Die Violent Deaths, just the same!)



 Ooooh!  We like hairy men !   vs. Chewbacca

Han Solo:  (Sweeping the bones from Chewie's dinner into the airlock)  I've got a GOOD feeling about this!

The End
 

 USE THE GIRL POWER, LUKE !   vs. Yoda

Yoda:  (To Luke, looking out over the swamp)  The first lesson, young Skywalker, will be: 'How not to park X-Wings on top of Yoda's sex toys!'

The End
 

 Pfwoah!  He's gorgeous!  Let's charm him with our singing !   vs. Tarzan

Tarzan:  Yes, noisy girls can go all way to top of volcano.  It safe.

The End
 

 I don't remember there being a hill, here.....   vs. Tower Bridge

Policeman:  (to bridge operator)  So, what you're saying is that you think you saw a bus drive onto the bridge as you pulled the lever?

The End
 

 Hey!  You're not Freddie Mercury !   vs. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

Courtier:
 
Actually, Your Royal Highness, I believe it is customary to stop moving the sword once it makes contact with the shoulder.

The End
 

 Why are there laser cannons sticking out of the walls ?   vs. Lex Luthor

Superman:  Sorry, ladies.  I can't save you from this dastardly murder machine, because, um... Er... I hear a cat stuck up a tree!

The End
 

 But is it in 'G' ?   vs. A Piece of String

Naah.  Too ridiculous an idea.

The Non-Starter
 

 He's got more bounce than Victoria !   vs. An 80-foot Kangaroo

Boing... Boing... Boing... SPLATT!... Boing...

The End
 

 What are we doing in the bargain bin ???   vs. Falling Sales

Agent:  (Priming shotgun)  Sorry, Girls; but it worked for Elvis, and it worked for Lennon....

The End
 

 Hey, Mel!  There's a bloke here says he knows where we can get some magic mushrooms !   vs. The Manhattan Project
Oppenheimer:  ...and to think that I was worried that the bomb might not have practical uses!

The End
 

 Munchkins?  Is what they say about small men true...?   vs. Dorothy

Dorothy:  Why are there five pairs of feet sticking out from under the house, Toto?

The End
 

 Our music is better than Gilbert and Sullivans' !   vs. The Lord High Executioner

Yum Yum:  ...I agree that they had to be punished, but I think using a mincing machine might have been a little excessive!

The End
 

 We LOVE Kids !   vs. A 5 Year Old

5 Yr old Tyrannosaur:
 
Hmmmm... I fancy something spicy for lunch...

The End
 

Running With Sticks 1999 Use the idea freely, but always with thirteen to the page !

I'm going to have to stop giving in to these urges!
Katie
 
vs.
 
Another 43,000 Dogs!

.....in the road...
...The next dog in line squatted and crapped on the stain in the road...
...The next dog in line squatted and crapped on the stain in the road...
...The next dog in line squatted.......

(Never) The End
 

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All Rights Reserved.



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