Where I dump works I haven't sold, for one reason or another

If you came here looking for my article on constructing documents, it's not here, it's here.

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       and cobol me is coming soon !        


A Question

Liars always assume everyone else is lying.

Thieves always assume everyone else is stealing.

Those who abuse children always assume everyone else is a child abuser.

Those who conspire out of ill will always assume everyone else is conspiring against them.

Sadly, those with some good in their souls always assume that everyone else has some good in their souls.


So, what do you always assume about others?




I feel obliged to add the following, in honour of Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg:

Lazy, indolent, good-for-nothing skivers always assume that everyone else will not do any work without being constantly supervised.



OK, Let's Straighten this Out.

It was in February 2014 that I invented the word "bullfact", but people are using it wrongly – to my face, already!
Look, the point of inventing a word is to fill a gap where we don't have an appropriate one.
There is absolutely no point in inventing a word that means exactly the same thing as an existing word, so bullfact is not a synonym of bullshit!

For the purist:

1. n. A fact that is used to mislead or deceive.
2. adj. (A fact) being used to mislead or deceive.
3. v.t.
    i. Use a fact with the purpose of misleading or deceiving.
    ii. Omit facts with the purpose of misleading or deceiving.
1. n.
    i. The act of using bullfacts.
    ii. A place/organisation/institution/big mouth where bullfacts occur with some frequency.

Is that clear enough?
It. Has. To. Be. Factual!
Bullfact is an antonym of bullshit!

See some of the most-repeated bullfacts Here.


Grumpy Old Scribe Sick of listening to bollocks?  Come and hear some home truths.
My Cat Died Please don't be heartless.  This is very sad.
Monday Morning Don't ask.
The Confessional Clear your conscience, Catholic or not.
Improvs  1 How to Eat Proper
Improvs  2 Scholarly Romance
Recitations  1 All for One!
Recitations  2 The Perfect Wedding -- and, due to popular request, the accented version

Some time ago, I foolishly mentioned in a public forum that I use Word document templates, and have been mithered by e-mails requesting copies and information ever since.

Save me some effort, chaps and chapesses, and download the templates from here.
Microsoft Word Manuscript Template

This next one is a posting to a newsgroup, explaining how to compose a manuscript.
(I'll decollate it to a web page when I have the time to do so)
Manuscript Composition

Addendum: Better yet, go Here.  He's done a much tidier job of it, and covers more details, although:
And this template is for if you want to write comic-books:
Microsoft Word Comic Template
And here is a silly script I cobbled together after a discussion on a bulletin board, which shows one of the ways the template can be used.

To install a template:  Open it, modify all the fixed fields (name, address, etc), then "Save As" a document template.
It will then be available every time you hit Ctrl+N.

I rattled this off in two minutes for a newsgroup posting,
but it just about says it all...

Sci-fi is too easy
No need to get facts right
And finding plots for romance
will not keep you up all night

Crime fiction is a doddle
You just hold something back
To write screenplays for Hollywood
it only takes a hack

But no, I'll stick with humour
The toughest life is there
I'll grind and grind to make folks laugh
whilst I tear out my hair!


 download your trial version now !

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