The SGDVD series

 At Last !  An enemy worthy of our talents !   vs.    ...

The Story So Far:
Our hero began his existence as part of an item of timelessly fashionable clothing.
Little did he know at the time that he would be condemned to such a dreadful fate as being placed in close proximity to the sweaty, sticky, greasy flesh of a Spice Girl, and then heartlessly cast aside to rot after having being worn only once not even to be auctioned off to some deluded child, who would at least cherish him.
But the fates were on his side.
After a moment of alcohol-induced poor spatial judgement by the Spice Girl in question, he found himself liberated from her, and in a position to start planning his revenge.
He soon found an ally, in the form of a half eaten Gummy Bear, who joined with him on his quest to rid the planet of plastic music.
His epic saga continues....

Thread 4

Let's face it, the poor mutt was hungry!
The dustbins out back of Luigi's had been full of stuff that was so full of hot pepper that she couldn't eat it without puking it up again.
She started sniffing around the streets, looking for something that she could suck into her stomach.
"Oooh, nice doggy!"  Said Britney.  She bent down to stroke her.
Several fleas leapt from the dog's back, into Britney's plasticized hair.
The two that did not die instantly said to each other: "I think I'd rather stick with the other bitch!", and leapt off again.
The dog licked Britney's face, and gagged.
"Oh, poor thing!"  Britney sympathised.  "I know what you need!"
She continued to rub and pat the dog as she moved around it, until she was at position behind the unsuspecting mongrel.
"Hey!"  she exclaimed.  "No fair!  You're a girl dog!"
The rub instantly stopped, and Britney continued on her way, disappointed.
The poor mutt was still hungry.
She carried on in her search for sustenance.

Thread 5

"Ok, Bert.  You'd best get moving!"  the depot foreman shouted.  "The Entwhistle gas station's completely out of gas, so you've gotta make it across town double-time."
"Double time?"  Bert the driver's ears pricked up.  "You mean, like, double time?"
"Down, boy!"  the foreman shouted over the roar of Bert's engine starting.  "I mean double time as in damn fast, not as in more money!"
"Aw, shoot!"  Bert complained.  "This job sucks Ollie!"
He slammed the truck into gear, and sped out of the gate; four thousand gallons of premium-grade gasoline sploshing away in back.

Thread 6

"Look!" Mel Heebiegeebie shouted.  "There are loads of reporters and photographers over by that toy shop!"
"Oh, for God's sake!"  sighed Victoria.  "Can't we give it a miss, just this once?  You know that if we're in the papers too often they start being nasty to us."
"Yeah, they're bound to notice your torn shirt,"  said Emma.  "They'll go on and on about it."
"I like the see-through bra, though!"  Melanie added.  "But it's not quite straight.  Let me..."
Her hands made a beeline for Mel's chest.
"I won't tell you again!"  Mel snapped.  "Keep those bloody paws of yours away from me!"
"Awww.  I'm only trying to help!"
As they neared the shop, Emma asked someone what all the fuss was about.
"Oh, there's some crap pop group in there,"  the man replied.  "They're called 'Five', or something."
"Five!"  exclaimed Mel.  "What do they think they're doing?  Trying to steal our thunder, like that balloon-bodied bitch?"
"Yeah!"  Melanie frowned, nastily.  "If any crap pop group gets photographed, it should be us!"
Mel started shoving people out of the way, so that they could get into the shop.
"OY!"  she shouted, as they reached the doorway.  "Who's in charge, here?"
"That would be the manager, Ma'am."  A security guard told her.  He pointed into the shop.  "He's over there."
"Right!"  she growled.  "Come on, you lot!  Let's sort these buggers out!"
"Oh my!"  said the manager.  "Oh, my!  The Spice Girls!"
He looked about ready to have a seizure.
"Look, you!"  Mel shoved him.  "If we're gonna have a photo shoot, we're gonna do it properly, all right?  You can start by getting all these bloody pain in the arse fans out of here!"
The manager gulped.
"Yeah!"  Victoria kept up the assault.  "If you want to see your shop on the front of the papers, you'll have to do it our way, or not at all!"
"Y...Yes, yes, of course.  Right away."  The manager hurried off to clear the store.
The Ugly One strolled over to the Girls.
"Shit, man!"  he said.  "Hello!"
"Whaddayou want, you ugly fucker?"  Mel sneered.
"Um... are you a boy or a girl?"  asked Melanie.
"Shit, I'm a Man!"  The Ugly One replied, indignantly.
"Oh."  Melanie immediately lost interest.
"HEY!"  Britney's strident voice made itself heard over the fuss of the store being emptied.  "Bring that guy back!  We were just about to...  Awww!  This sucks Ollie!"
The Slimy One came running up to the Girls.
"Shit, man!  Quick!"  he hissed to the Ugly One.  "That's Britney!  You'll get it tucked away for sure, with her!"
"Shit man, yeah?"  the Ugly One replied.
"Shit man, Yeah!"  the Slimy One insisted, dragging him away.
"How are we going to get rid of that lot?"  asked Emma.  "They'll want to be in the photos with us."
"No, they won't,"  Mel said, conspiratorially.  "Because this is what we're gonna do..."
"Ohmigawd!"  Victoria sneered.  "Don't tell me you've got a plan!"
"Aye,"  agreed Melanie.  "We must be really screwed if we have to rely on her brains!"
"Just shut it, you, and listen..."

Thread 7

The poor, hungry mutt had found a stain on the road which smelled like it might once have been food, but closer sniffing had revealed it to be totally poisonous.
She cocked her leg, and piddled on it, as a warning to other poor, hungry mutts to stay away.
"Fucken homo fucken faggit dawg!"  Said the stain.
Then the dog smelled...
... Could it be..?
... Was it really... Sugar?
... Sugar and artificial strawberry flavouring and colouring?
Excitement tingled through her body, as she rooted out the source of the smell.
A Gummy Bear!
An honest to goodness Gummy Bear!
She had not seen one of those since a gas explosion had distracted everyone by blowing the front off of the adult goods store, and she had snuck into the candy store gorging herself for a full three minutes, before the owner had come back and chased her out with a broom.
She leapt on it, snaffling it down with one gulp.
... Then everything happened very quickly...
The starving mutt choked, as the piece of string attached to the Gummy Bear caught in her throat...
She started to run around in panicky circles ... Out into the road...
A motor-cycle messenger, who was carrying a heart for transplant into the failing body of a man who had found the cure for cancer, swerved wildly to avoid the dog, and spun out of control...
The motor-cycle ran off the road, ploughing into a group of nuns who were taking bowls of boiling hot soup for the homeless...
The soup went flying, splashing over a group of Girl Scouts, who had just collected their cookies from the warehouse, to sell for the needy...
The Girl Guides split up, screaming, and ran in all directions to get away from the scalding rain...
One of them ran into a blind man, who was out for the first time since losing his sight when saving a baby from the burning wreckage of a car crash...
The blind man tripped, knocking a cardboard box from the hands of a four-year-old boy, who had just been given a kitten as a present for being so good, when taking his unpleasant medication at the hospital...
The frightened kitten ran out into the road...
"Jesus!"  shouted Bert, seeing the kitten in his path, as he barrelled down the road...
He had no time to brake...
His only hope was to...
... He swerved, desperately; but it was too much, too quickly...
The gasoline truck bucked at the violent action, and heaved over, falling onto its side, and sliding down the road toward the toy store, spreading a firework display of sparks behind it as it slid unstoppably on...
Bert leapt out, rolling head over heels in the road.
"Ohhhhh, SHIT!"  gasped one of the toy store's security guards.  "Everybody out of here, now!"  He shouted.
Everyone ran like lunatics away from the store except for a group of ten people inside the store, who were brawling like common street punks.
"You call 'Get Them!' a bleeding Plan?"  Victoria shouted at Mel, just before the Braindead One caught her with a right cross, knocking her cold under a pool table.
"Well, it was a bit short notice for anything more complicated!"  Mel shouted back, as she raked her claws down the Ugly One's face actually improving his looks.
"Oh, shaddap bitching!"  Melanie said, swinging Britney around by her boobs.  "This is fun!"
"Sure is!"  agreed Britney.  "What are you doing later?"
"What's that noise?"  asked Emma.  She looked over at the doorway, and the gasoline truck approaching fast.  "EEEEEEEK!"
"What's the matter?"  asked Mel.

Thread 8

The explosion rocked the entire city.
The smoke cloud was seen from miles around.
The toy store was demolished completely.

A crowd formed, out in the street, looking at the wreckage.
Fans of the Girls, fans of Five, and former lovers of Britney's looked on, praying to see their loved ones again...

There had been ten plastic pop-stars inside the building, when the gasoline truck had crashed into the main entrance, exploding in a hellish fireball.
It had taken six hundred million gallons of the city's water to put out the fires meaning that babies could not have their baths, and the few non-alcoholics went thirsty.
The crowd watched the wreckage with bated breath...

... Just as they were all turning blue, there was movement...
A figure emerged...
Then another...
And another...
Five.  Five figures, in all.

Of the ten that were inside the building, only half had survived...

The poor, hungry dog finally managed to cough up the piece of string.
The Gummy Bear was gone.

Who has survived?
Are any of the Girls still alive?
Will the Meeting of the Minds ever happen?  Or have those minds gone forever?
Does anyone care?


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