The Story So Far:
Some of the happiest days of our hero's life were spent after crashing his Kapokian spoolship into the Atlantic.
Trapped in the damaged, sinking vessel, he was rescued by Linda Lusardis, a mermaid from the lost city of Atlantis.
They were joyous times, frolicking under the waves, playing with the dolphins, and doing all the things that young mermaids, mermen, and merstrings do.
His happiness was cut short, however, when Prince Naemore, the prince of Atlantis who had been raised by a Scots fisherman, returned to re-assume his throne
Naemore was a moody bugger, who refused to allow his subjects to have fun – at least not when melodramatic soul-searching was available as an option – and refused to allow any 'surface-dweller influence'.
Such influence included the cohabitation of Atlantean and surface-born string; so our hero was exiled in a dramatic sequence which was adequately pencilled by Sal Buscema, but boringly scripted by Roy Thomas.
It was because of this exile by a tedious author that he swore he would never let theatricality overshadow reality, and that he would never again appear in a boring story (except this one, of course, but I'm using the character without permission – Sticks).
The theatrical but meaningless declaration of 'Girl Power' by a group of fame-hungry second-rate performers was yet another of the reasons for his campaign to see a brutal end to the Spice Girls.
His plans thus far have met with a deal of success.  Two of the salesgirls have met their dooms, along with fourour of fiveive.

His epic saga continues...

 
The Fall of Bunton

"I'm Stuck!"  Melanie squinnied...
She pulled her arm away from the vent as hard as she could...
The self-tapping screws holding the nozzle to the sheet plastic of the bulkhead came loose, and Melanie shot across the cabin, out of balance...
The whole connector of the vent went with her, leaving a gaping hole in the main pipe...
The air rushing through the main pipe; without the vent nozzle to redirect it, continued in a straight line – creating a negative pressure gradient at the hole, causing it to suck air into the pipe, rather than blow it out...
Melanie tripped in the aisle– her head bashing into the stomach of Mario, who was seated in the opposite seats...
The polythene tube of pure LSD that Mario had swallowed, to get it through customs, ruptured, filling his stomach with the hallucinogenic acid...
The LSD combined with his gastric juices, spaghetti al forno, vino cheapo, and zabaglioni, causing the production of huge amounts of vapour...
Mario's stomach swelled up like a balloon as the gas formed...
With an almighty 'PARP!', the gases vented from his body – producing the world's most psychedelic fart (Guinness take note)...
The passengers in the cabin, subjected to the hallucinogenic cloud, started fighting shadows, drawing flowers in the air, and acting like American game show contestants...
The vent pipe sucked in vast quantities of the cloud, to distribute it all through the 'plane...
The mind-altering mist found its way to the command cabin...
The pilot, on his first acid trip for at least three weeks, suffered a flashback to his tour of duty in the Gulf...
"Approaching target!"  he yelled, bouncing up and down in his seat as if it were an untamed stallion.  "Opening bomb-bay doors!  BOMBS AWAY!"...
The doors of the luggage compartment opened, and cases, crates, and an Iron Maiden were swept out of the 'plane...
"Take that, Saddam, you futhermucker!"  yelled the pilot, collapsing in a heap on the deck...
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"  Screamed Emma, as she plummeted through the sky.
Back in the passenger compartment, one of the passengers decided he wanted some air, and opened a window...
Air whistled through the porthole until the pressure inside and outside the craft equalised...
In the vastly reduced cabin pressure, Britney's cheap implants exploded, blowing off the hand that Melanie had been holding, and her right leg, where the other had slipped down to...
She lay on the deck, bleeding to death, as David made imaginary sculptures with her blood...
Having absorbed enough LSD to fry an elephant's brain, the Braindead One's brain came to life!
"The 'plane is going to crash!"  he announced, heroically, jutting out a manful jaw – which belonged to the man in the next row.
"Don't worry, everyone!  I'll get you home safely!"  He strode off to the command cabin, took the controls, and landed the 'plane without a single bounce!

 
Thread the Last

The Iron Maiden bumped to a gentle landing in a green field.
"Wow!"  Emma climbed out of the sarcophagus, fighting her way through the blankets she had used as a parachute by poking them out through the eye-holes.  "That's Incredible!  I came out of it without so much as a scratch!"
A tea-chest full of Pink Floyd CDs landed on her, squashing her flat!
 

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Newscaster:

Sad news tonight for Spice Girl fans. Following news that three mambers of the group had met with violent ends, the remaining member, Melanie Chisolm, also known as 'Sporty Spice', was found hanged in her hotel room tonight. It appears that her despair at the loss of her friends was too much for her; and she took her own life. Police are currently seeking any fans of the Spice Girls who were in the hotel at the time she was discovered, as it seems that the piece of string she used to end her life has disappeared...

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Epilogue

Three months later...

"Well, that's another concert over,"  said Witch One, as they rushed out of the concert hall and into the B*witched bus.
"Yeah,"  agreed Witch Two.  "Another bunch of stupid kids giving us all their savings!"
"Hey, what's this on the back of the seat?"  asked Witch Three.

Then things started happening Really quickly......

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The End..?
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So...
The Spice Girls, Britney Spears, and four of Fiveive are dead...

Does anyone care?

 
To be continued.... NOT!