Horace's Mystery Tour


 The racing's on...
 So get out in the kitchen...

 Get me some food...
 And don't give me no bitchin'

    Hello.  My name is Horace.

I've been taking dancing lessons.
I'm doing ever so well, don't you think?

Ever such a lot has happened, lately.

I met a new monkey-thing; called Cal (or was it Emma?) (It starts with a 'B').
That's her, over on the...  Over to the side.

She was ever so nice; and we soon became firm friends.

Such fun we had.

Don't worry about her 'shushing', like that.  She does it all the time.  She says it's something to do with making monkey-things look at her mouth, and blow-frogs, or something.  I couldn't hear too well, when she explained it to me -- I was practising my entrechats at the time, and the music was a bit loud.

Anyway, what happened was that one day, Cal asked me if I wanted to go out for a walk.
I thought that was a wonderful idea, so I said yes.

Of course, with monkey-things being so much bigger than real people (her legs are lots and lots longer than mine), I had to make sure that I could keep up with her.

"Nice Bike."

And off we went; into the wide world.

We saw some wonderful sights, and some lovely places.

And we had a really super dinner!


"It's so nice,"

Said my friend, the monkey-thing Cal,  

"To have a friend to do things with."


 I thought so, too.



...But the big-cheese monkey-thing Mark was waiting at the door, when we got back.

He didn't look very happy.


Not very happy at all...


"You took the bloody
out into the streets?"
He bellowed.


"Are you out of your bleeding Mind?
He shouted.

"You want your cowing Head looking at!"
He yelled. 

"Leave me alone!"
She sobbed.

"Stop shouting at me!"

    But he didn't.  
  He kept on shouting.

I don't think he was a very nice monkey-thing.


It all just got noisier and noisier!




...And they said some horrible things to each other!


It all ended up with my poor friend, the monkey-thing called Cal, stomping off upstairs to her bedroom, with a cake from the 'fridge, while the big-cheese monkey-thing Mark ranted and raved and shouted at everyone.

I was ever so worried that I would never see her again.

I hate it when my friends disappear, like that.

She sneaked down a little later, though -- after the big-cheese monkey-thing Mark had gone off to upset someone else.

She brought me some of her cake.

It was ever so nice.

I don't suppose you'd like to
pass me a fork, would you?


Horace's Nemesis!
Main Page


   Hey!  What's the idea?  A happy ending?  No way!   
Just wait until the next one!