Where I dump works I haven't sold, for one reason or another

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                 and cobol me is coming soon !        

OK, let's straighten this out.
It's as recently as February 2014 that I invented the word "bullfact", but already people are using it wrongly – to my face, already!
Look, the point of inventing a word is to fill a gap where we don't have an appropriate one.
There is absolutely no point in inventing a word that means exactly the same thing as an existing word, so bullfact is not a synonym of bullshit!

For the purist:

1. n. A fact that is used to mislead or deceive.
2. adj. (A fact) being used to mislead or deceive.
3. v.t.
    i. Use a fact with the purpose of misleading or deceiving.
    ii. Omit facts with the purpose of misleading or deceiving.
1. n.
    i. The act of using bullfacts.
    ii. A place/organisation/institution/big mouth where bullfacts occur with some frequency.

Is that clear enough?
It. Has. To. Be. Factual!
Bullfact is an antonym of bullshit!

It's Art, man! Wanna see my latest masterpiece?
Grumpy Old Scribe Sick of listening to bollocks?  Come and hear some home truths.
My Cat Died Please don't be heartless.  This is very sad.
Monday Morning Don't ask.
The Confessional Clear your conscience, Catholic or not.
Improvs  1 How to Eat Proper
Improvs  2 Scholarly Romance
Recitations  1 All for One!
Recitations  2 The Perfect Wedding -- and, due to popular request, the accented version
The News  1 What's happening in Europe?

Some time ago, I foolishly mentioned in a public forum that I use Word document templates, and have been mithered by e-mails requesting copies and information ever since.

Save me some effort, chaps and chapesses, and right-click the links below to "Save Target As...".

Microsoft Word Manuscript Template

This next one is a posting to a newsgroup, explaining how to compose a manuscript.
(I'll decollate it to a web page when I have the time to do so)
Manuscript Composition
Addendum: Better yet, go Here.  He's done a much tidier job of it, and covers more details, although...

  • I've yet to find a typesetter who's really happy with Times New Roman, so I'd stick with Courier, if I were you.
  • He appears to be one of those who suffers from delusions about double-spacing after a fullpoint.
  • It seems he comes from that weird world where people don't know the differences between en-dashes and em-dashes -- to be clear:
    • An en-dash is entered as two hyphens, with spaces either side (used more or less like a semi-colon, but more to keep things rolling, rather than to join disparate stuff, e.g. look at the sentence above this one).
    • An em-dash is entered as three hyphens, unspaced (most often used to indicate interruptions, e.g. "I thought---" "... Who cares what you thought!" (ellipsis point optional).)

And this template is for if you want to write comic-books:
Microsoft Word Comic Template
And here is a silly script I cobbled together after a discussion on a bulletin board, which shows one of the ways the comic template can be used.

To install a template:  Open it, modify all the fixed fields (name, address, etc), then "Save As" a document template.
It will then be available every time you hit Ctrl+N.

I rattled this off in two minutes for a newsgroup posting,
but it just about says it all...

Sci-fi is too easy
No need to get facts right
And finding plots for romance
will not keep you up all night

Crime fiction is a doddle
You just hold something back
To write screenplays for Hollywood
it only takes a hack

But no, I'll stick with humour
The toughest life is there
I'll grind and grind to make folks laugh
whilst I tear out my hair!


 download your trial version now !

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