APIHNA ! ...


This is a blow-by-blow, as-it-happens version of a typical APIHNA thread.
To show how these things develop, individual contributions have been accredited.
What the original point of the thread was, God only knows – but this is how it ended up.

It's hot stuff!
    Cool!
John Flynn
And have you seen the tyres?
    Groovy!
Mark Wallace
And what about the headlamps?
    Blinding!
John Ward
And those candles you put on the dashboard?
    Wicked!
Chris Guest
And its fuel consumption?
    Super!
Mark Wallace
And what about those bumpers/fenders?
    Stunning!
John Flynn
And the seat belts?
    Snappy!
Mark Wallace
And the ignition?
    Electric!
And the fumes from the exhaust?
    Dreamy!
Robin Bignall
And the chrome?
    Brilliant!
And the loan payment?
    Outstanding!
Hilary (& or Jonathan) Caws-Elwitt
And the exhaust pipe?
    Tubular!
And the stick shift?
    Gear!
Jonathan Caws-Elwitt
And the seats?
    Cushty!
And the control layout?
    Dashing!
Mark Wallace
And the new paintwork?
    Tacky!
And the driving wheels?
    Shafted!
David
And the performance of your 1953 tourer?
    Like wow, man!
And the baby seats?
    Right on, daddyo!
And the radio aerial?
    Straight up, man!
Robin Bignall
And the ventilation?
    Fan-tastic!
And the cigarette lighter?
    Hot!
And the onboard computer map?
    It's where it's at, man!
Chris Guest
And the furry dice hanging from the rear-view mirror?
    Swinging!
And the Union Jack[1], attached to the aerial?
    Wet!
David
And the steering column, on the UK model?
    Righteous!
Mark Wallace
And the roof?
    Super!
John Flynn
And the effect on pedestrians?
    Killer!
And the contribution to ecology?
    It's a gas!
Ian Tindale
And the sex in the back seat?
    Superposition!
And the go-faster stripes on the sides?
    Superstition!
And the driver with his underpants on over his tights?
    Super, man!
And the back-seat driver?
    Superannuated!
What if it's Julie Andrews?
    Supercalifrag..... whatever!
What if it's a blind date?
    Supercilious![2]
What if it's a date with Stephen Hawking?
    Supernumerary!
Robin Bignall
And the mother-in-law in the back?
    Bitchin'!
Chris Guest
And the traction control?
    Gripping!
John Flynn
How 'bout the new tires?
    Rubbery!
Laury Walkey
And the ashtray?
    Smokin'!
Harvey V
And the satellite-based GPS system?[3]
    Out of this world!
John Flynn
And the indicators?
    Blinkin' marvellous!
Dave Laird

[1] This originally read “And the England flag, attached to the aerial?”, but – in order to avoid causing David any public embarrassment – this was changed to describe a flag which actually exists.
Yes, that's David; get the name right — D - A - V - I - D — and remember that you mustn't giggle to yourself when you see him standing nearby.  Be kind; it's not his fault.

[2]<Mystery voice for American listeners> Cilla Black is the compere of the TV programme Blind Date.

[3]For James Farrar.


 
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